Thursday, January 19, 2017

How (Not) to Become a Crabby Lady



Just what you needed today: three steps for becoming a Crabby Lady. It doesn't take much effort, because crabbiness comes naturally or is easily mastered.

1. Have adult temper tantrums when things don't go your way.

2. Keep telling yourself that other people are really the source of all your problems.

3.  Catalog your hurt feelings. Be sure to alphabetize them for easier access.


Crabbiness is such an easy habit to develop, but it's not a desirable way to live. Just like that crab on the sand, we could hurt someone with our snappiness. When we pinch people with words, they move away. Are we really intending to become repellant? Crabbing at people will achieve this goal, even if it's unintended.

It's not a problem when we have an occasional day that's just a bit "off character," but when it becomes our only mode of operating, it's time to evaluate what's truly bothering us.

Are you sniping because you hate your job?

Are you snapping because your calendar is overbooked?

Are you snarling because you don't feel well?

Are you being snarky because you're really upset about something else?

What's really bothering you? If it's changeable, are you working on it? If it's unchangeable, have you prayed for the grace to live within your situation? 

Life is so much like roses: it comes with thorns. The Apostle Paul had a "thorn in the flesh" that he didn't describe in detail, but he did mention that he prayed "thrice" (three times) that the thorn might "depart" from him. 


And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.
For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 
(2 Corinthians 12:7--9 KJV)
Did you see God's response to Paul's request? God didn't rush in and provide instant thorn removal, but reminded Paul that he already had an unlimited supply of God's abundant and all-sufficient "grace." The Strong's Concordance describes this "grace" as follows: ...merciful kindness by which God, exerting his holy influence upon souls, turns them to Christ, keeps, strengthens, increases them in Christian faith, knowledge, affection, and kindles them to the exercise of the Christian virtues.

Whether you are in a changeable or unchangeable circumstance, handle matters wisely if you want things to turn out well. Dancing around the issue just keeps you from getting to the point. Hiding our feelings in a cloak of crabbiness is an unsuccessful tactic that usually ends in increased unresolved conflicts.

Don't pile on the crabbiness. Get to the source of what's wrong, and deal with it. Gently. Wisely. Prudently, with carefully chosen words. You don't want to become a permanent Crabby Lady. Graciousness is far more becoming.

Wise handling of matters leads to a good outcome.

He that handleth a matter wisely shall find good: and whoso trusteth in the LORD, happy is he. (Proverbs 16:20)




Writer's Block-Breaking Clogs

I am in the final stages of completing a ladies' devotional book, and I hit a WALL constructed of "Writer's Blocks." This happens for all creative types, and we have to be equally creative at breaking down the wall.

Today, I'm wearing my Mom's old clogs to break my writer's block. 


I took them out of the back of the guest room closet where I had tucked them away. I often forget where I've put things, but I was completely aware of their presence at all times. I opened the closet, reached for the clogs hidden behind a stack of boxes, and then hugged them.

"There she goes about her Mom again." If you've read my blog or Facebook posts since May 2015, you know how much I miss her. Can't hide it. Won't try.

The clogs were dusty, so I polished them and then I slipped them on. I've never been a fan of clogs, but Mom liked them because she could just walk into them and slip them off with ease. This means a lot when your mobility is limited.

Do you miss someone who has passed away? Do you have to stop yourself from reaching for the phone to dial their number?

I hope that you have something that allows you to remember your loved one. At first you may remember with tears, but try to remember some of the joy as well. As I wear Mom's clogs at my writer's standing-desk, I can recall how many times I thought to myself: "Clogs don't go with every outfit."

But my Mom was so classy, she could pull it off. 

Here's to finishing a devotional book, in Mom's clogs, with her photo on the wall next to my desk. I am so eternally grateful for the powerful influence Mom had in my life. I hope to honor her by doing a few simple things: I want to live justly, with mercy, and walk humbly with my God. 

That would honor both God and Mom.

"He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?" (Micah 6:8)

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