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A Great Pretender

A sister friend of mine asked this question in a note: "We all go through a lot in silence. Why is that? Why can't we share as moms and friends and Christians? I don't understand it..."

Some people are intensely private, choosing only to share things with a very small group of people. In other cases, some people are blessed with godly family members who are also excellent sounding boards for counsel. But I'm afraid that all too often, the more common reason is that we don't want people to know that we're struggling. Somewhere along the line, an unwritten rule was passed down that said, "Whatever you do, pretend that everything is all right."

Pretending that everything is all right when it's not is all wrong.

God sees things very differently than we see, and He endorsed getting godly counsel. Consider these verses:

"Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety." (Prov. 11:14) Any good pilot will tell you that there are times when they need an extra pair of eyes (and even an extra  brain) in the cockpit for safety's sake. Counsel provides us with the insights of another godly person who can look at our situation with a fresh perspective.

"Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established." (Prov. 15:22) When we are going through something that has us stuck, spending time with a godly counselor can get our "tires out of the snowbank." The counselors are not there to tell you what to do; but they are God-provided assistants to help you sort out your options.

"A wise man is strong; yea, a man of knowledge increaseth strength. For by wise counsel thou shalt make thy war: and in the multitude of counsellors there is safety." (Prov. 24:5-6) There is strength in wisdom, and that strength is exactly what we're seeking during challenging times of trial. Wise counsel enables us to see a way through our situation, helping us to map a plan to victory.

Here's a funny quote I saw online: "May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook."

I have a better idea: Let's quit pretending that life is great when it's not. Do you need some help? Ask for it.

"Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end." (Prov. 19:22)


  1. You taught me the value of seeking Godly counsel, and boy has it helped in my daily journey! Growing up in a preacher's/missionary's family, it was an unspoken rule (not by my parents, but by others) that everything was always supposed to be perfect and it left me embarrassed to seek counsel when it was needed. How wrong I was! What a blessing a discreet and helpful counselor can be in adding a prayer warrior and a Biblical perspective to my concerns in life! God is good and you are a blessing, Mrs. Francie! Thank you for your ministry!

  2. Sadly, there isn't much Godly counsel any more. I have found that out recently with one of my own problems. Then there are those who just want a quick fix without having to change anything in their own hearts or take time to look and see what the REAL issues are. Everyone is too busy. God is not too busy and he doesn't work in a hurry. But when there is no man to counsel you, God is always there and if we truly seek him, he WILL give us the answers we need.

  3. Thank You Mrs. Taylor . I also think people think . or because of pride .i have struggled with both . God is good I found if we ust pray and ask who we should speak to he sends ust the right person with just the right words and council. The other thing is gossip I think that strikes fear in most people and thats why the stay to them selves too.


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